Midna: Quest for Myrr
by TheCrazyPerson44
Summary: This is a story about Midna getting back the Life Myrr and restoring it to the Twilight Realm to help the twili beings.


It was a dark and dreary afternoon in the Twilight Realm. Nothing was as it should be, either. Normally, the Twili beings would bring Midna delicious pastries to sink her little sharp teeth into, and smother her with kindness, labor, and gifts. But today, ehh, things were a little different. Midna, who usually got what she wanted out of her servants, was very frustrated with them. She demanded to know what the problem was.

"Ahem! Twili twirps!" ordered Midna. This was how she usually addressed them. Well, when she was upset. Ok, so it was how she ALWAYS addressed them.

"Yes, your majesty" answered the twili beings, each of them sounding like brain dead zombies trying to act alive.

"Well, how do I put this? It's come to my attention that my humble servants are more forgetful, lazier, and just not as productive. What's wrong, little boys?" asked Midna, stamping her tiny feet like a spoiled pixie.

"We don't know!" answered the twili beings in unison.

"WHAT?" shouted Midna. Midna continued to stamp her feet, placing her hands over her eyes, and sobbing like a child. Then, the entire earth began shaking, and Midna got dizzy. She saw stars, and tried to count them, before fainting flat on the ground, on her back.

"Ugh, I, ugh, don't know, what's transpiring here, this must be, a dream!" said Midna, as she lay on the ground, sprawled out like a snow angel, waving her arms frantically and attempting to stay a sane little imp princess. Then, it happened. Lightening could be heard, and then Midna knew what was happening. It was her younger sister Kidna. Kidna manifested herself in front of Midna's throne, and showed Midna a map.

"Midna, it's me Kidna!" said Kidna. "Why aren't you taking better care of your pets?" she demanded to know.

"Well, they've been lazy Kidna. I feel bad for them, but they've just been kinda self-centered and lazy lately!" said Midna. Kidna looked troubled.

"Midna, they aren't lazy. They're acting more lifeless because of the lack of Life Myrr in the Twili Realm as of late! The trees that produce the Life Myrr have vanished!" warned Kidna. Midna could be seen with her head turned up, her hand stroking her chin with a thoughtful expression.

"Well, I wonder if it's my cousin Zickna whose behind all this!" wondered Midna.

"At any rate, you'll need a chalice to carry the life myrr back to this realm of shadows, and it's convienently located atop a mountain peak around here, in Zant's former palace lair!" said Zickna.

"Why is it there? And Link and I put Zant on ice right?" said Midna.

"Zant harnessed the energy of life from the Twili. He was one of the main reasons your people fell into dispair in the first place. Some people think his ghost still haunts the building!" exclaimed Kidna.

"Yeah, real interesting, dear, but where is the life myrr?" Midna asked.

"The life myrr is being guarded by a ferrocious pirhana fish in a small shadow pond. His soul is of the damned, even though he tried to appease many of the Shadow Gods. For one thing he eats everyone. The fish absoloutely loathes, disdains, detests, and hates artichokes. There is a shadow witch around here somewhere who gives people artichokes in exchange for red onions, but sometimes she kills people, so watch out!" warned Kidna. "And forgive me for asking, but why are you in your imp form?" she asked.

"My imp form? My last birthday I was given an emblem that enables me to transform myself back into an imp! I kinda like it actually, in some ways, particularly when I'm out adventuring, among, other things, or when I'm with my boyfriends" said Midna.

"You are one damn tough chick! I envy your bravery!" said Kidna.

"I learned it all from Link!" said Midna winking at her sister. "Want to come with me?" she asked.

"Well, I'm not sure, it's a perilous journey, we'd need enough food and provisions for both of us!" said Kidna. Just then a horrifying spider came crawling up to the two imp girls. It was of a friendly nature, however, and had food and supplies in tow on its back, in a large bag. It had Hylian bread, cream cheese, root beer and lots of good things.

"Hi, I'm Stiltzken the spider. I travel the world, and overheard you two talking. You two can feel free to hitch a ride from me, I'll get you to Zant's former palace very quickly! We spiders are quick you know!" said Stiltzken the one eyed spider.

"Well, only if you let me whip you into submission with my whip. I haven't used it in ages! Those were the days!" said Midna with a fiendishly sly demonic grin.

"If it'll help me lose weight, sure!" said Stiltzken. "We'd best leave before dawn! Let's go!" he added.

"Wait a minute, it's ALWAYS nightime here!" said Midna. Midna and her sister climbed aboard the spider, and traveled off to Zant's former palace. Along the way, Kidna began trying to read from an old map.

"This thing has coffee stains all over it, cheese markings, and to put icing on the cake of mediocrity, its wrinkled!" complained Kidna.

"What? The map?" asked Midna.

"Yes, the map, now we'll never be able to read it and find the location of Zant's hidden super secret lair" said Kidna.

"We could see Jingle and get it deciphered" said Midna.

"No, we're better off mapless than wasting our money on that greedy swindler. I think we should just use sisterly intuition" said Kidna. Midna noticed the spider was slowing down on the road, so she began whipping him more harshly. He still did not respond.

"What's wrong? Is it dead or something?" asked Kidna. Midna climbed down off of the spider's back to take a closer look at him. Upon inspecting his giant one eye, she saw that it was severely injured.

"I think something's wrong with Stiltzken, he isn't dead, but he looks close to it!" said Midna. Stiltzken was moaning in pain.

"Someone shot me!" said Stiltzken. "I can survive if you, cough, get me something to soothe this wound," he added. Then Midna saw a small green imp boy dressed up like Link in the distance. As he got closer, his face looked more and more familiar. Then Midna knew who it was. It was Blink.

"Is that your ex-boyfriend?" asked Kidna.

"No, he's just a really good friend who reminds me of someone I once knew in another dimension" said Midna.

"OHH, so now it makes sense. NOT!"said Kidna. The green imp boy, who had revealed himself to be Blink, approached Midna and her sister. Midna normally would have been glad to see Blink, she had fond memories of him. But when she realized what he had done to Stiltzken's eye, she scowled at Blink angrily, eyed him suspiciously, and gave off a look of resentment.

"Blink, for crying out loud, when you're practicing archery, aim more carefully!" said Midna.

"I was aiming carefully," said Blink. "Some fruity old man with alzheimers told me to aim into the eye of Gomah, and so I saw a gomah and took aim at its eye. I didn't know it was your pet!" he added.

"Well, it was! And now it's hurt. You wouldn't by any chance know how to cure it would you?" asked Midna.

"Yeah, I have a fairy with me. I always have one on hand for just such an occasion" said Blink. Blink gave Midna the fairy. Midna used the fairy to heal Gomah's wound.

"Thank you for healing me!" said Stiltzken.

"Well it's nice to see you again Blink! By the way, this is my sister Kidna, and my newfound spider pet Stiltzken" said Midna. Blink smirked.

"Cool! You folks wouldn't happen to be heading towards The Castle of Zant would you?" asked Blink.

"Yeah, it just so happens we are! Wanna come with us? Oh, and one problem, we don't know how to get there" said Midna.

"That shouldn't be a problem. I know something that makes Gohmas speak up and give hints on where to go!" said Blink.

"What's that?" asked Midna in an inquisitive tone.

"This!" said Blink, pulling some authentic Hylian feta cheese and crackers from the seemingly infinite depths of his pockets. He fed the delicious cheese to Stiltzken. Stiltzken began to speak up.

"The entrance to Zant's lair can be found if we travel south, west, northeast, west, in the shadowy Forest of Delusions" said Stiltzken.

"WRITE THAT DOWN!" said Midna panting in a nervous fit. Blink laughed.

"No sweat Midna, I already did it for you. Now, let's climb aboard Stiltzken and show the monsters at Zant's palace whose boss" said Blink.

"How did you know that feeding Stiltzken cheese would get him to talk?" asked Midna.

"Some other crazy old man in a cave with a long white beard that stretched out for miles told me! He kept mumbling about assembling a golden triangle, and thought he was in a place called Hyrule!" said Blink. Midna laughed. Then Blink, Midna, and Kidna all got back up on Gohma. Midna whipped Stiltzken vigerously, and they galloped down the road at tremendous speeds that no one could possibly surpass in excellency. They navigated their way passed Twili Desert, and finally found themselves in the Forest of Delusions. Blink began having convulsions of laughter the instant they set foot in the forest.

"AHAHeEHEHEHhaha!" laughed Blink. Blink dropped his paper that had all the important directions on the ground, and continued to laugh hysterically. Midna and Kidna began having convulsions as well, and were shaking uncontrollably, and hallucinating.

"Look at that huge Deku Scrub. It's like the mother of all deku scrubs" said Midna.

"It looks more like the father of all deku scrubs to me" said Kidna.

"OH LOOK! We're being surrounded by Peahats!" said Midna.

"PEAHATS, hahahaaaaa" said Blink laughing. Stiltzken began hallucinating a glass of lemonade and an Octorock burger in the distance.

"I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorock" said Stiltzken. Stiltzken the gomah spider darted off into the distance, frantically sprinting and leaping and bounding like a banshee ghost. Blink, Midna, and Kidna had no clue what was going on because the Poes that guarded the forest loved to give people delusions, convulsions, and hallucinations. Luckily, Stiltzken, mistook the poes for Hylian octorock cheeseburgers, due to his hallucinations, and he violently attacked all the poes, by shooting light beams at them from his eyes and then eating them as if they were flies. Then the delusions faded away, the forest looked like a normal forest, and Blink, Midna, and Kidna woke up.

"What happened there? Reminds me of my nightmares. And where are we?" asked Midna.

"We were trying to save the Deku Princess remember?" said Kidna.

"No, that wasn't it. We were trying to umm..bring back the life myrr to the Twilis" said Midna. Stiltzken came back to the crew and reminded them of their mission by showing them a piece of paper. Blink picked it up, and looked at it. He studied the directions, then he and the others piled up on Stiltzken. They traveled in the directions south, west, northeast, west, and finally escaped the forest. Then they saw a foreboding castle atop an even more foreboding mountain in the distance. Surely this was Zant's secret lair.

The triumphant trio of Blink, Midna, and Kidna used hookshots and grappling hooks to make their way up the mountain. When they reached the summit, Kidna and even Blink the great imp hero completely freaked out, but brave little Midna galliantly opened up the door.

"What? I like the dark, and it likes me!" said Midna giggling in her fiendishly cute little female imp voice. Then, with Midna leading the way, they all entered Zant's castle. Stiltzken wanted to stay behind, he hated castles, as well as places that had ghosts in them. He assured them he could use magic dust from the fairy Blink gave him to warp inside if they needed him badly. When the gang entered the castle, the first room looked like it was full of water. There was a door on the other end. There was a series of blocks floating on the water, but they could not be leapt across to get to the door, they were spread apart from each other too far.

"There must be some sort of switch or lever thingamajig around here that controls the flow of water in the dungeon. I'm used to this kind of stuff" said Blink. Midna giggled mischeviously.

"No Blink, it's all about psychic powers and magical abilities. And I'm not talking about commanding statues with a conductors baton either. I'm talking about raw, natural, psychic power unleashed" said Midna. Midna used her psychic powers to lower the water levels.

"Hey, now I can push the blocks so we can jump across and get to the door" said Blink. Midna put her hands on her hips, and stared at Blink smiling.

"No, silly boy, that's not how it's done. That's the difficult way. This is how it's done!" said Midna. Midna used her powerful telekenesis levitation skills to lift up the blocks and boulders from the floor. While they were suspended in mid-air, she rose the water levels with her mind, brought the blocks together, and made them fit to be jumped across. Blink was astonished and amazed, and gave Midna a high five. Then the triumphant trio marched forward across the blocks, through the door, and into the next room. In this room, they saw spooky Zant masks that floated around. Blink took out his bow and arrow and shot them down.

"I must admit, you're much better at archery, Blink" said Midna.

"I have a skill, too!" said Kidna. Kidna lifted up Midna and Blink and carried them to a higher floor. There were floormasters everywhere on this floor. Kidna then proceeded to throw a magic nut onto the ground which set them all ablaze with fire. The doorway to another room opened up, and a mystical chime could be heard.

"I love the way that all too familiar chime sounds," said Blink. "It brings back memories," he added, while winking at the two sisters. The three heroes entered the next room bravely, and when they set foot in it, they could see the chalice being guarded...but not by Zant's ghost...by Zant himself, and..another imp? It appeared to be Midna's femme fatelle cousin Zickna. Zant and Zickna both had thrones, and were seated next to one another.

"Hahahaa, it is only fitting that you would show your face in here Midna," said the imp seated next to Zant's throne. "Although, I must admit, I didn't in the least bit expect to see your sister and Blink show up here."

"Well, I didn't expect to see you either Zickna! I also didn't expect to see Zant fully revived," said Midna standing up and pointing at Zickna and Zant, and making mocking faces.

"I don't think you should be doing that" said Blink.

"Are you two an item? Are ya?" said Midna, continuing to taunt Zant and Zickna. Zickna used a magic wand to send beams of light at Midna. Midna dodged them succesfully.

"Well, well, well, what are we to do with you?" said Zant.

"Do something! Don't just sit there and be boring" said Midna.

"You will always be a traitor in my mind Midna, but even so, I must admit, not all of your people do I view in the same exact light. In fact, your cousin and I have became quite close, especially since she brought me back to life with life myrr. The rest of the unused myrr is being guarded by a pond creature outside, and as for the chalice, I have it here, but neither of us are giving it to the likes of you three!" said Zant.

"Then we're taking it from you!" said Midna. Zant leaped off his throne, moving around uncontrollably, and acting like his usual insane, manic, deranged alien freakshow puppet-self.

"Alas, Zant was born in the forest of delusion, he suffers from convulsions frequently. I believe that's why he couldn't defeat Link the last time. But as it stands, he has MY support now!" said Zickna, leaping off her throne and confronting the three heroes. She used her magic wand to send more beams of light at them, Blink deflected most of them with his sword, sending them right back at her. Blink continued battling Zickna, while Midna dissapeared and reappeared in various parts of the room to taunt Zant. Zant finally grabbed Midna and tried to choke her, but Kidna came through by tossing a large rock at Zant, relinquishing Midna from his grasp. Blink's talent for deflecting light beams payed off, and he rendered Zickna unconciouss. Zant recovered, however, picked up a large deku stick, and began swinging it around in a manic fashion. Then Midna picked up another deku stick, and joined in the action. After lots of battling, Midna force fed Zant some feta cheese, that came from the goats in the Forest of Delusion. This caused him to react strongly, as he was allergic, and he started having even more convulsions, and leaped out the window. Zickna recovered, however, and rushed outside to aid Zant. In the meantime, Midna gathered picked up the large chalice and all three of them left the castle quickly, as it was shaking and crumbling apart, perhaps due to the absence of Zant and Zickna's presence. As they left the castle they confronted Zant and Zickna again.

"Zant is dead yet again, and I may be weak, but we'll find a way to destroy all of you pathetic Twilis one day! Right now, we can't continue with our mission, but using what little myrr we were able to steal, rest assured, Zant will be revived once again! Neehahaha!" laughed Midna's evil cousin Zickna. Zickna and Zant then seemed to mysteriously fade away into another dimension. Then Midna turned to Blink.

"That went better than expected. We were all pretty good, and chipped in when the time was right. Now we just need to get some life myrr for the chalice, and we'll be good" said Midna.

"Yeah, a giant pirhana fish is guarding the myrr. It lives near the Fairy Fountain, directly north of here" said Blink.

Adding more soon...

keep checking back.


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